Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I'm the Appendix

You know how we [the church] are often referred to as ‘the body of Christ’? There is even a song ‘If We Are the Body’ that talks about His arms reaching, His hands healing, His words teaching. Lately I’ve had a tendency to wallow in my general uselessness, it seems, when it comes to being a part of the body of Christ. In my mind I’ve joked about being the appendix. Feeling this way doesn't help a whole lot when it comes to fighting spiritual battles. You walk into it already feeling defeated.

This past month has been both very exciting because we sold our house and have a contract on a new one, and very stressful dealing with these same issues as well as multiple others that have come up this month. I’ve begun to feel like the devil’s dartboard. I’ve struggled with fear and anxiety, lack of faith, etc. I've spent many nights praying that God would give me peace, that He would help me trust Him. The problem is that I have the hardest time trusting Him when things are bad. If things aren’t great I question whether I stepped out of His will, or whether I’m under spiritual attack, or if it’s just life and things happen. It’s hard to trust God because I want to trust that He will make everything all right, and that may not be what He will do. So basically, all this has been floating around in my head confusing me.

For the last couple weeks, though, it seems like every time I turn around, I hear or read encouragement to be at peace, to trust God. I have heard this in one form or another so many times lately that it’s impossible not to believe God is trying to get through to me to JUST TRUST HIM. I went to bed one night convinced that instead of begging Him to give me peace, I needed to just THANK Him for all the good things. I fell asleep that night thanking Him. About an hour later, I woke up still thanking Him. Since that night, I have been much more at peace. Now I thank Him for all the little messages He's been leaving around me to encourage me that HE IS IN CONTROL. I still feel attacked sometimes with the spirit of fear, but it’s amazing how much just thanking God is a weapon against it. Today my husband was in a car accident. He called me to tell me he was fine but the car was totaled. I was shaken that that phone call could have been much different this morning. So my mind started asking why did this happen? Why this on top of everything else right now? We just got this car 6 months ago! Does the other guy have insurance? But then, I just stopped those thoughts in their tracks. I started thanking God that even though the car was totaled, Dean walked away without a scratch on him. My husband is alive! My kids still have a father! Thank you, Jesus!

Tonight, I came across an article. The title was THE APPENDIX: USEFUL AND IN FACT PROMISING.

He is Faithful.


Debby said...

He is faithful indeed.

I'm so sorry about the Car and grateful for Dean's safety. If you have time...I'm out and about in the am.

Anonymous said...

Brilliant post. Best ever.

Well written, excellent ending.

- D

Anonymous said...

That was a great blog - And your value is high above anything you could think or imagine!

I love you,