Friday, February 27, 2009
Journaling: "My best friend Angie doesn't understand why I love her the way I do. I don't think that I tell her enough how dear to my heart she is. I think I love her because I hope to be like her someday. She brags about her mother being the Proverbs 31 woman, but I think she is well on her way to being just like her mom."
It’s very humbling when someone says something like this about you. She’s right that I don’t understand. I can be very selfish. I’m not a very good friend. She has other friends who are much more involved in her life, more generous, more loving. What have I done to deserve the place she gives me in her life? I’m the one who doesn’t tell her enough how I appreciate her in my life. She has influenced me.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Question #3 - If I could change one thing about myself, what would it be?
Journaling: As a grown woman looking back, there are many things I would change. Most of them, however, are a result of choices I’ve made or things I could still fix if I really tried. So, I decided to go back to when I was young to answer this question, back to when I was more or less content with who I was. I WISH I COULD DANCE! In highschool, I was in an ensemble for two years. I loved to sing and dance with ‘Windsong’. Being in Windsong was the highlight of my highschool years. The problem is, you can teach me the choreography and I will get it right. Technically. I was a bit stiff and can’t dance at all without knowing the moves. I certainly wouldn’t look cool trying! That’s what I wish I could change. I wish I could just dance what feels good and look good doing it.
Question # 4 - What 7 decisions changed the course of your life?
2. We moved to Clearwater, FL when I was 4. Dad became pastor of Maranatha Chapel. I grew up there until I got married.
3. My parents gave me the choice to attend college or not. I chose not. It was perhaps not the wisest choice, but it put me where I am today.
4. Dean came to Roan Mt. when I was 19. My cousin Dan knew Dean liked me and they offered to pay for a plane ticket home so I could drive up with them to visit my cousin, Tami. At first, I wasn’t interested in Dean and thought it would be taking advantage if I accepted knowing what they were after. But they knew how I felt, so I said yes. I talked to mom the night before we left and asked for her advice. I rode with Dean and Dan to Connecticut. By the time we arrived 12 hours later, we were holding hands!
5. 2 weeks after Dean and I got together, I left for 4 months to YWAM in Scotland. While there, Dean and I wrote many letters but they were full of superficial “I love you’s”. One week we had a great speaker who spoke on ‘binding words’. I called Dean and told him I didn’t want us to say ‘I love you’ anymore. I tried to explain, but he thought I was being brainwashed! I sent him the cassettes so he could hear it for himself. He was only 18 but he listened to all 10 hours! Then he called me and agreed. From then on, our letters were full of content and we began to get to know each other for real. He even sent me a greeting card that said ‘I like you’! This made it so much more special when we were ready to say we loved each other for real.
6. We chose to get married pretty young. We were married right after Dean’s sophmore year of college.
7. We waited 6 years to have kids. When we had Alyssa, we decided that I would stay home with her. It was a real sacrifice to eliminate my income, but totally worth it!
I've also started working this past month as a substitute. I've taught kindergarten, 3rd grade, worked in the school office, was a cafeteria monitor, and I've worked in the cafeteria. Believe it or not, I like the cafeteria best. As soon as things settle down for us a bit, I may try to get a permanent job there. We've also been trying to fix up the house to sell, but have had very little time to do so. Right now we're working on painting the interior. So far, we've done one bathroom. *Sigh* MORE TIME PLEASE!